#jaya fanfiction

[mairitess]

ebbs and flows pt. 2 // jaya

a/n: i wrote this bc i got back into ninjago and i needed to write something for them bc i'm not caught up enough to be able to read the current fics + also on ao3 in caps

words: 1.5k, part one here

tags: angst, fluff, post-skybound, post s10 ninjago: masters of spinjitzu, jaya, no beta we die like kings, they r so traumatized after nadakhan, minor violence mentions from skybound, kiss kiss rated t just in case

preview:

she might’ve missed it, if she weren’t so keyed up already. “you’re my yang, nya.”

the ninjas returned to the temple absolutely beaten. they’d defeated the latest ninjago city menace, but it took more effort than usual. their entire way home, jay was tapping his foot incessantly.

“can you stop that?” cole said, irritated. “you sound like a walking time bomb.”

jay started to apologize. “i’m sorry! i can’t help it. i’m…”

“nervous? anxious? stressed?” the suggestions came in a popcorn chorus from zane, pixal, and kai.

jay put his head in his hands. “yes,” he sighed, defeated.

cole put his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “what happened…?” to you and nya?

“i have no idea.”

everyone was quiet until they got to the temple. they knew jay was doing his best, and they knew how stubborn and guarded nya could be, too — much like her brother. when they landed, jay filed out last, worry troubling his stomach.

“you got it, jay,” lloyd said, clapping jay on the shoulder. “it’ll be okay.” he turned from jay to look at cole, also unsure. they’d known nya had been different recently, as much as she tried to hide it. but they didn’t know what they could do, especially if jay wasn’t able to fix it.

with heavy heart and steps, jay made his way to nya’s room in the early morning hours. misako and wu were standing just outside her door, making jay even more nervous. he rushed over.

“what happened? is she okay? where is she?” he couldn’t keep his voice down, his lightning energy rushing into his veins again.

“she’s fine,” misako said, placing her hands on his shoulders. “she’s okay. but…” she trailed off, as nya’s door started to open.

it was the first time she’d really looked at him in weeks, and jay’s heart dropped as he saw her bloodshot eyes and dark circles. as much as he was exhausted from their fight in the city, she had been draining for far longer.

“hi, jay.”

—

he followed her into her room, gently closing the door behind them. when she sat on the edge of her bed, he sat a foot away, careful to keep some distance. he didn’t want to make things worse.

“i missed you,” he said, unable to keep it in. “i miss you. i love you. i…” jay suddenly felt too loud, too brash, and worried he’d scare her away again.

“i love you too,” nya replied, tears brimming again. “and i think i’m ready to tell you what happened — or, what’s been happening, and i’ve been so worried to tell you before because i’m scared you’ll hate me and want to leave me but i love you and if that’s how i make you feel then i just want you to be happy and safe and secure and i’m scared when i tell you this you’ll —“ nya cut herself off, too scared to speak into reality one of her biggest fears. “you make me feel more special and confident and myself than anyone i’ve ever known,” she whispered. “and i’m scared you’ll throw me away when i tell you.”

sometimes, even when jay wasn’t talking, nya could still hear the lightning coursing through him. this time, she couldn’t. she was scared to break the silence. she needed to know if he even wanted to hear what she had to say.

and she might’ve missed it, if she weren’t so keyed up already. the quietest he’s ever been, the most hesitant yet gentle and kind.

“you’re my yang, nya. nothing you could say could ever change that.”

jay knew nya well enough to know she was struggling with not feeling like she was doing their relationship “right”. a perfectionist through and through, as soon as things started to dissolve, so did she. but jay needed her the way the moon needs the tides, the skies reaching for the waters beneath. she knew ebbs and flows, but so did he, because he yearned for her throughout.

nya told him of her nightmares, and how she thought she was dying that day. she drew in a deep breath, before she told him that his hold felt the same way. she thought she was angry he wasn’t upset like she was. she wasn’t angry anymore.

he was quiet, processing, until he asked, “do you really think i’m not upset like you?” nya stilled.

“all our friends died. i had just seen you in a wedding dress, and you were about to marry someone else, even if not by choice. and then you started to die in my arms, by a tactical choice i made. it would’ve been all my fault, if you…” he paused. “you’re the love of my life, nya. and i held you as i cried because i don’t know what life there is without you.

“i made my last wish holding you. and everything was good again when we went back and you took my hand. i know that right now my touch feels like… death, but i need you to know that to me, touching you gave us a new chance at life.”

nya was stunned; all she could do was sit there, his words ringing over and over again in her head.

“i love you, nya. i just… need some time to think about it, too. okay?” jay said, standing up. he smiled, but it was small and somber. nya couldn’t help feeling like she’d hurt him, that she’d thought so little of his actions. she nodded, and it wasn’t until her door closed again that she was able to mumble, “i love you.”

—

nya didn’t leave her room all day. she was feeling better, but she didn’t want to step out. kai brought her dinner and they sat side by side as she ate.

“how’s jay?” she asked, and kai shrugged. “he’s been in his room ever since we got back. so i don’t know. but it was a pretty bad fight, so maybe he’s just resting. though normally he’d rest by playing some video games,” kai joked, nudging nya lightly with his shoulder. she quieted again, looking down at her food.

“i think i messed up,” nya said, swirling her spoon in her congee.

“i don’t think you could with jay, sis. he loves you.”

“i know. but that doesn’t mean… that doesn’t mean things will always be okay.”

“sure. but it also doesn’t mean you two can’t be okay, either.” kai paused. “uh, let me say that again. you guys will get through it. that’s what love is. love is about getting through things together, not keeping things perfect all the time.”

nya smiled, genuinely, for the first time in awhile. “when did you get to be wu number two?”

kai laughed. “probably when i realized how much you and jay love each other.”

nya understood it was time to stop fighting the flow. it took the master of water long enough.

—

it was just after 10, and nya needed to see jay. but as soon as she opened her door, there he was, hand poised to knock. he jumped back. “gosh, nya! you’re quiet.”

they stood in her doorway, just looking at each other, not quite sure what to do next. they started speaking over each other in a flurry.

“nya—“

“jay, i—“

nya laughed, and jay could feel everything start to lighten. “come in.”

they lay down on nya’s bed next to each other, closer than they’d been in weeks past.

“i’m sorry, jay,” nya mumbled, drawing circles with her finger into her pillowcase.

“no, i’m sorry, nya. i shouldn’t have left the way i did earlier.”

“it’s okay.” jay raised an eyebrow and nya nodded. “i promise. i’ve… been thinking about it longer than you have. it’s only fair.”

he smiled, and nya kept looking between the freckles across his face and his brilliant blue eyes. how could she have ever been so afraid of what he would say?

“so…” she started. “what now?”

“i don’t want to rush you into anything,” jay said. “i love holding you, and you know how much that means to me, but we don’t have to touch or anything until you’re ready. but i do think it could help,” he offered.

nya shook her head as he talked. “you could never rush me. and i want to fix things. so maybe… we start here?”

she gently grabbed his hand, and placed it on the side of her face, holding him there. nya nudged closer to jay until they were a breath apart. she tilted her head up and gazed at him, waiting.

“i missed you,” nya said, and jay met her halfway, their lips melding into each other where they belonged. softly, first, then as nya grew more incessant, jay matched her, and it was like breathing and drowning in confessions of love all at once.

jay was careful not to move his hand from her cheek, but as they kissed, she moved his hand down to her back, and he pulled her ever closer. nya broke their kiss first to breathe.

“i missed you too,” jay said, one arm behind her back, the other under her neck, cradling the back of her head. they laid there for hours, and just as nya was starting to doze off, jay asked, “nya… what do want me to do if you have another nightmare again?”

she thought about it before, but wasn’t sure what would work until they tried. “just don’t let go,” she mumbled into his chest, and he held her tighter.

[dress-and-impress]

Me hunting for my favourite Jaya fan fiction bc I forgot to save it like:

[i-love-jay-walker]

Jaya Week 2023

I wasn't gonna post any of my fics from Jaya Week on tumblr, besides the original link, but I'll be honest, I think this is the only good thing I've written in a while. So if you're interested in reading some Jaya stuff, here you go! I hope you enjoy!

You can also read it under here:

Promise

The first time his hand held hers, he felt delighted. He swore he felt his heart explode with a million butterflies, filling up his stomach and crowding his mind. He could hardly think, seeing nothing but the beautiful butterflies, whispering promises of love to come.

The first time they kissed, he felt ecstatic. Not only from his true potential, but from the unspoken promise of something more. The low zimmer of currents in his blood, whispering and polluting his mind, promising so much. 

The first time he saw her with Cole, he felt resentment. An unspoken promise had been broken. It had been taken, bent it till it broke, shattering to pieces much like his broken heart. The whispers had fallen silent, a dying hope of something better no longer promised.

The first time they went out again, he had felt uncertain. He had spent so long, picking up the pieces of his heart, slowly glueing the bits and pieces together. It wasn’t easy, seeing how both her and Cole had pieces of it stuck to them, to their bodies, their souls and their clothes. He wasn’t sure he could ever truly repair it, so he kept it to himself, not letting her touch his mangled heart. A promise to himself to not trust again, to not let his heart shatter any further. The whispers fell on deaf ears as he cradled his crumbled heart.

The first time he lost her, he felt misery. His marred heart crackled, the old cracks splitting open, letting the love he’d carefully hidden away oozing out. It smelled foul and putrid, something no one was deserving of. It was ugly and vile, having been stowed up with molded hatred and jealousy. He carefully tried to tape up the bits, hoping no one would see the revolting, broken heart spilling out all of his anguish. The muck had yearned for a girl no longer there, yearned for a love it could never have. It whispered for a promise that was too late.

The first time he held out his defective heart, he felt hesitant. Her gentle hands caressed the stitched up soul, slowly warming it up. She had sat down, gently pulling out each ragged thread, dissolving the clumped up glue. She cleaned and polished each tiny piece, displaying them in front her. Baring his soul and heart to herself and he let her. He would always let her. She slowly began rebuilding the bond, adding each small, polished piece by piece. She gave him back the remains she’d stolen, the bits shiny and well cared for. In the end, his fractured heart was mending as she cradled the bond, gentle and caring. The whispers of a promise to return, to care and to help. To never be alone again. 

The second time he lost her, he felt despair. His restored heart shattering in impossibly many pieces, his mind going with it. He sprawled on the floor, reaching for pieces that seemed endlessly far away, pieces that would scatter farther off with each reach. He heard the cry of his broken soul, the million pieces mourning a loss he didn’t know how to handle. He scooped up the pieces he could, cradling the memory of a lost love. He rocked it gently, hoping if he put his weeping heart to sleep, maybe the pain would leave him alone. He cried along with his wailing soul, his tears showering the memories he had cherished, the imagery of a girl he’d loved. The whispers were howling, a sobbing promise to never let go, a tearful promise to never forget. 

The second time he held out his defective heart, he felt relieved. Her hands, as gentle as he remembered, cradled and kissed his shattered heart. She helped him put it back together, gently kissing each jagged shard before stitching them up. His misshapen heart may not be a pleasant glance, but to him it meant everything. It whispered promises of love, promises of care and promises of never being alone. It was a repulsive heart, one only one person could love. And that she did. Every night she cradled his heart, kissing and polishing every crack and rift. She promised to take care of the repelling soul, the one she loved so dearly. She promised that to her, the grotesque heart was beautiful.

[sharksandjays]

Happy late birthday to my beloved husband @finn-m-corvex !!! Have some Mechanical Hearts fanart because Jaya College AU is PERFECTION!!! Go read his fic RIGHT NOW GUYS!!!!

Theyre adorable

[rosewalkersjayaforever]

"Jay has a normal life unlike the others"

⚠️⚠️⚠️MAYBE BAD ENGLISH⚠️⚠️⚠️

⚠️⚠️LARGE TEXT ⚠️⚠️

Excuse me? Are you serious? Is it a normal life that he ended up, roughly speaking, in the landfill with foster (adoptive) parents "Ed and Edna"? But what about the fact that Jay found out that he was adopted in season 6, how he was roughly abused and used by the Skybound, how he was bullied by the pirate team? If Ninjago wasn't Lego, Skybound would be even darker than we imagine.

He has never met his biological mother for so many seasons, for so many years, and we will never know if he will meet her at all or not, just hunting, we don't know anything about her, only that she was a lightning master, that she was Jay's biological mother and was married to Cliff Gordon.

Yes, Jay was wrong not to tell the guys about him, but are they better? They ignored it when Jay himself said that he was adopted, but no, let's keep resentment, anger and hatred against him. They damn treated him like a madman and a stranger, you can read their faces: "Bro, shut up, go already, stop talking," Cole too, is also called a "best friend", and he betrayed him, although he should have been on his side.

Also in season 11 in the pyramid, Jay was not the only one who opened to release Aspheera, Nya helped him, but of course Jay and only he are always to blame, as if if someone else had opened, they would not blame him as well as Jay himself.

Lloyd will also have to keep quiet, he was the first to open the tombs to release all the serpentines. Everyone makes mistakes, it's important to admit and correct them or not allow them at all, but before they go through, they blame Jay for everything, well, you wanted adventures yourself, now do you want something? Let them not complain better.

Also, Jay's enemies such as Nadakhan and Unagami were not defeated in physical combat.

According to season 9, it may seem ridiculous that Jay lost his mind, does not behave the way he should, but the guys just don't know and will not understand what he went through in Nadakhan's ship, he was tortured, bullied, because of which he got injured, got trauma, no wonder fanfiction is written about this or they are posting videos for season 6. Because of Nadakhan, Jay began to be afraid of spiders, afraid of desires (wishes), afraid of pirates, whom he loved before or watching, also afraid of bridges, as shown in season 11 and the "island". In your opinion, is it normal to have such injuries (traumas)? This is not a joke or even funny.

Jay was the only ninja who went through this hell, through such cruel punishment because of the enemy, and he was the first ninja to see his friends die, for the second time in "Prime Empire", only then Lloyd in season 8 and 15. Lloyd tells everyone what he went through, but Jay doesn't, no one knows Nadakhan from ninja except Nya, although I think Nya doesn't know what he had to go through in his ship, and not just to wash the floors, do what he is told, as a cleaner, no, just no.

And before showing the pain, Jay seems to pretend that this did not happen, he continued to smile and have fun, although it was proven that he was always joking to hide his fears, also in season 9 he explained to young Wu, something like: "Sometimes a good laugh makes situations better by opening up eyes that are like everything is fine, it's good," Jay admitted it himself and he still does it, but it seems no one will understand it.

All people react differently, because we are all different humans, we have pain, suffering, loss in different ways, someone spills it out, someone keeps it to themselves, someone hides it behind a mask, laughing and joking like Jay, we will not talk about season 15 and how he fought with Jay, neither Kai or him is to blame, none of them is to blame, they just didn't understand each other, so they began to quarrel and fought, although if it were not Nya, one of them would have injured the other, or both injured each other, well, or Wu himself punished them

They reacted differently to the loss of Nya when she merged with the sea to save everyone, all the residents of the city, her friends, her teacher, her boyfriend, her Ying and brother, it's okay if someone is even depressed, we can't blame them.

Jay also lost Nya three times, first the poison of the tiger widow, then she turned into an energy cube, pushing Jay away, then merging with the sea, as Nyad did, he goes through it again, looks like his girlfriend, his love of his life and Yang leaves not for the first time, I won't anymore to write that he lost his memory and was rude to Nya, that he would always hate her in "Dragons Rising" season 2, but we hope that in future seasons she and the others will bring him back and help him regain his memory and maybe now Nya will lose Jay, who knows.

Also, everyone says and writes that Jay is the weakest and most useless of the ninjas, but let's not, remembering and everyone knows that lightning is a natural and powerful object, it can kill all people with one blow suddenly than get into lava while earthquakes or falling stones are approaching, drown under water or freeze under ice, snow, or bad weather.

Jay is holding on, he won't really kill enemies, other people, criminals or even his friends, he uses his element like electricity or current, everything, if Jay was something like a villain, he wouldn't keep his power under control, but on the contrary used it as dangerous weapons.

Jay was even someone who was on the verge of life and death too, first charging the battery, then his lungs contained amounts of salt and sea water.

From the first seasons, Jay became lightning with the help of "True potential", was fast as lightning, able to control electricity and other devices, of course, then he was made as a "stupid clown" or a "minor character", Jay is the same Jay, maybe in the next seasons the creators will prevent this, also returned as an inventor to to fix something, not only Nya or even Pixal, I just want people not to consider Jay some kind of minor annoying character who can do nothing but shoot lightning, talking, like motormouth and saying someone "stupid, cringe" jokes. I understand if you don't like this character, but calling him weak and useless is too much and yes, don't enter this includes Lloyd and the fact that he is stronger than Jay or others, it's not about him at all.

And you're also telling me that Jay has a normal life than the others?

[mooni]

based on one idea i had, wrote this a little while ago and finally decided to post here

At some point, Jay stopped.

Stopped caring. Stopped trying. Just.. stopped.

Talking was all but torture, so he didn't talk. Eating felt pointless, so he didn't eat. Going outside became a chore, so he didn't bother.

Instead, he just existed. Look ahead with empty eyes, eat the food the others left right outside the door for him, throw that up, sleep, repeat. He didn't want to die, not really, but he didn't have the energy to live.

After doing nothing but stare at bedroom walls and old pictures for days, Cole and the others had staged some stupid intervention. Told him that they missed her too, that they understood, but that what he was doing wasn't healthy.

Something like that, anyways. It happened only a few minutes ago. He couldn't remember the details. (He didn't want to.) All he knew was that a mountain of words later, he'd found himself sitting outside.

He looked up at the sky. Today was a sunny day, blue untainted by a single cloud, temperature warm but not hot, gentle winds blowing every so often.

How strange it was, that the world could be so perfect and yet so very destroyed.

Everything about his own was ruined. Ever since.. the incident, it felt like all eyes were on him, and First Spinjitzu Master were the stares terrible. Pitiful things, words whispered behind closed doors and told right to his face, blank apologies that didn't mean anything to their owner or their recipient. The empty, yawning pit that could never truly be filled, signed away to deep brown eyes and childhood dreams years ago. Those stupid voices that stirred, pulling him down, down, so far down. That feeling, that godawful, terrible, freeing feeling when he didn't resist.

But the worst part? Nya was still out there. They'd held a funeral for her, but she wasn't dead. Gone, but not dead. Not dead, but not truly alive.

His yang had left him. (The wind got just a little more aggressive.)

Everyone left him. (Gray began to blanket the sky.)

Why did everyone leave? (The blue wasn't visible anymore.)

Jay clenched his fists, seething in silent rage. And they all said that they knew, that they understood. Kai was the only one who came anywhere close, and even then he didn't really get it. They dared to insinuate they felt what he did, dared to look him in the eyes and tell him they missed her just as much, dared to even suggest that he'd heal. He didn't need healing, he didn't need fixing, he needed gentle kisses and annoyed smiles and nighttime comforts where she'd wake up when he woke up and yeah dreams were terrible but the only dream he needed was right in front of him.

A yin to a yang, the eye of a hurricane, a love everlasting. Jay needed Nya, Nya needed Jay, and that truth would live long after they died.

He still needed her, but she didn't need him anymore.

Then he cried. Sat down on the steps since when had he been walking away and sobbed. Not just for Nya. Selfishly, he also wept for himself.

Because Jay Walker had disappeared into the sea with a thing wearing the face of Nya Smith, and all he'd left behind was a shell calling itself human.

The sky cried with him. First gentle, soft kisses of rain, the tears of heaven falling on his skin and tracing gentle patterns down. Then a little harder, harder, until harsh wind and unforgiving torrent of water was all that surrounded him.

Jay probably could've put a stop to it if he tried. But he had tried before. He'd been trying.

Fate was not kind to those who tried.

So he stopped.

[kunshokunsho]

where are the angsty jaya fics of administration jay manipulating nya and saying things like i love you, i miss you, stay with me forever, MEANWHILE he literally has no idea who she is but the way she acts towards him, her BEGGING him to come home, he knows that he’s important to her and he’ll totally use that against her, and the manipulation totally works and after this goes on for a while kai sees his sister suffering and acting all crazy over him and so he’s call her out on her letting him manipulate her and she just LOSES it and breaks down sobbing and saying things like i know i just miss him and i love him and i regret not saying it before…yeah

anywhooo

[the-immortal-restless]

How many of you, when I’m finished, wanna see my debate semester exam presentation.

What’s the topic? I’m glad you asked

[astro-nomaly]

This is the biggest spoiler to ever spoiler and I’m not even CLOSE to the Shintaro arc but I’m so excited for it

Btw his fiancé isn’t a bad thing she’s just legitimately fighting people when he comes back

[dragon-gem]

Can I Have This Dance?

“Exactly. Forget fate, it was always you and me.” Nya reached up to push his soaked curls out of his eyes, still smiling at him. “It may have taken death for me to see it, but I know it now.”

—

In which Jay cannot sleep, and so he goes to find Nya and they dance in a thunderstorm.

Originally posted to FFN back in 2020, but I’ve officially started rewriting and posting all of my old fics! Kudos and reviews are always welcome 🩷

[ratinthebins]

Fanfic recommendation time woooo

Love this fic! It’s a what if au where Kai trains Sora and Arin instead of Lloyd. It’s really fun and I super recommend it :D

Ghost Cole centric <33 I really love this one :D

SO much Jay angst! Jay is written so well in this and all the metaphors in it are really nice 💕

Villain Jay my beloved. Definitely a lot of spoilers here, but it’s really good!

Transfem Jay and it has Agent Walker as well <33 (this one has some really nice lgbtq themes and also some good Jaya)

Kai angst galore 🔥🔥🔥🔥 (love this one a whole lot)

Arin centric and has agent Walker! Definitely one of the best Arin centric fics out there 👍

[mairitess]

ebbs and flows pt. 1 // jaya

a/n: i wrote this bc i got back into ninjago and i needed to write something for them bc i'm not caught up enough to be able to read the current fics + also on ao3 in capital letters

words: 1.5k

tags: angst, fluff, post-skybound, post s10 ninjago: masters of spinjitzu, jaya, no beta we die like kings, they r so traumatized after nadakhan, minor violence mentions from skybound, kiss kiss rated t just in case

preview:

she might’ve missed it, if she weren’t so keyed up already. “you’re my yang, nya.”

memory was clever in a cruel way. sometimes nya practically forgot what she and jay had endured, had survived. other times, though it had been years since, nadakhan’s grip was still around her wrist. memory was kind when it ebbed, cruel when it flowed. and the master of water, unfortunately, was far too familiar with ebbs and flows.

it started when she and jay were on a date downtown, a rare luxury given their line of work. they’d compulsively started window shopping, ducking into quirky stores, stealing kisses in the alleyways between. ninjago city hadn’t been quiet in so long.

“has this shop always been here?” jay asked, pointing at the large antiques sign hanging from the side of the building. “i feel like we’re always around here. why haven’t i seen it?”

nya smirked and nodded towards the restaurant next door. “maybe because you’ve been too focused on downing chen’s hand-pulled noodles to pay attention to anything else around here.”

“hey!” jay reached for her in fun, and nya twisted away, bolting to the antiques store. her laughter echoed down the street, and jay’s breath caught in his throat. no one laughed as brightly, as freely as her. his soft smile grew. no one made her laugh as brightly, as freely as him.

he was grinning wildly when he walked into the shop, nya waiting for him inside. “what?”

jay enveloped her into a hug, his arms snug around her. “i love you.”

“i love you too, jay. now look around with me! i wanna see if there’s anything interesting.” jay caught a quick kiss before pulling away, and nya’s cheeks were warm as they wandered through the store, hand in hand.

—

she saw the lamp first — not the same one, but far too close for comfort. it was rusted and dented like it had been thrown around in the wash, but the lamp’s handle curved at the bottom, whereas nadakhan’s stayed flush to the rest of the body. still, nya froze.

“nya? did you find anything?”

jay’s voice felt so distant and hazy, as if she was hearing him underwater. “honey?”

she felt his hands on either side of her face, and nya realized he was standing right in front of her. “you’re crying, nya.” he leaned in closer to look at her more directly as he wiped the tears from her cheeks. “what’s wrong?”

he followed her gaze to the shelf behind him, to the lamp sitting all on its lonesome. jay sighed then turned back to nya, resting his forehead against hers.

“look at me, nya.”

she felt like she was ripping her vigilance away as she did.

“that’s not his, i promise. and neither of us are going to touch it. we’re safe, okay? he’s gone.” 

nya didn’t remember leaving the antiques shop, or going home, or anything else that happened between seeing the lamp and ending up in jay’s bed. she was spooned against him, so jay couldn’t see she was keeping her eyes open for as long as she could — every time she blinked, she saw nadakhan and that lamp. she could feel herself dying in jay’s arms again, on the floor of nadakhan’s stolen makeshift palace. she could feel her last words trying to snake their way out, but her energy draining before jay could hear them.

jay’s arms tightened around her waist, and she jerked away from them, tearing out from his grasp. she turned, and he was staring at her, worry lines stretching across his forehead.

“do you want to talk about it?” he asked. nya was quiet, though she cuddled closer to fit her head under his chin. jay slowed his breathing, taking deeper breaths in and out — he hoped she’d match him, even if subconsciously.

he was starting to fall asleep when he heard her mumble into his chest. “you couldn’t say his name.”

—

everyone else knew about nadakhan from the murals on the wall in the courtyard, but they would never remember him, especially not the way jay and nya did. but honestly, that made it somewhat easier for nya. she could pretend everything was okay with them.

but jay was there. and it felt so careless and insensitive for him to pretend, too, when he was with her. a small part of her knew it wasn’t fair to be upset at him for that — while she was dying, he watched, and maybe that was worse. but still.

nya hadn’t spoken to jay when they were alone in days. she still came to his bed each night, but they would lie in silence, and every evening she would get further and further away from him in sleep. at this point, they were on opposite sides of the bed, and her back was to him. if he just reached out, he could hold her, but he was scared she’d jerk away again if he did, and that would hurt more than anything before. when they woke up each morning, he’d ask her if she wanted to talk about it. she’d stay silent, though sometimes she’d shake her head. then jay would say he’d talk about it whenever she was ready. it was their new routine.

she started to have nightmares the day after they’d first seen the lamp. he tried to hold her close, whisper “i love you” to her over and over again as she shook and sobbed, but she’d end up pushing him away as soon as she got up. one night, he tried not touching her at all, and her nightmare subsided easily. so he opted to just lie awake until it went away, waiting for her to still. then she’d wake up in the morning, and they’d do their routine all over again.

weeks passed, and nya had caught a cold. jay would’ve stayed home with her, but their recent villain needed all hands on deck. misako and wu promised to take care of her while jay was away, though they figured some sort of fight had transpired between the two lovers. 

usually when they had to split the team, jay and nya would kiss each other good luck. but jay stood in the doorway, quietly watching her sleep. he toyed with the yin symbol hanging around his neck. his partner, his love, was starting to feel more distant than a stranger, and every day more like a ghost. but he needed her to go to him. he was nervous about touching her and making any nightmares worse, so he opted to leave a note instead.

nya, my yang, i’ll be back soon. i love you.

—

nya could not tell him — she would not tell him. guilt slashed at her chest every morning she woke up, her throat dry and caked tears streaking from the corners of her eyes. but she had to tell misako and wu when she woke them up screaming in the middle of the night, the first time anyone else had heard her nightmares.

“nya?” misako rushed in first to see nya shot up in bed, gasping for air. misako put the back of her hand on nya’s forehead. “you’re burning.”

there was a small tub of water and a washcloth on the side table next to her bed, and misako wet and wrung the towel before leaning nya back gently and placing the rag on her forehead. nya’s eyes were still wide open, and she didn’t have to look to ask —

“where’s jay?”

wu walked in, staff in hand. “jay is with the other ninjas. they needed more help. i thought you knew…” he trailed off, seeing the note next to her. nya grabbed it, and as she read it, started crying harder.

“i’ve been so horrible to jay,” she said, stuttering. “and i can’t even tell him what’s wrong.”

misako held nya’s hand, squeezing it lightly. “then maybe it’ll help if you tell us first.”

—

every time nya fell asleep, she’d find herself in her almost-wedding to nadakhan. then she would get shot, and she’d lie on the floor. when she was first getting these nightmares, she could feel jay holding her again, just as he did the first time. but that made the dreams a little too real — she needed some sense they were just dreams. she would kick him away, and he’d disappear, and she could breathe again. eventually, she stopped imagining jay holding her, and as she lay on the floor, she knew it wasn’t real because it was playing out differently from what was real, and she was able to move on.

but how could she tell jay, that now, whenever he hugged her, she felt like she was dying?

xx

part 2 here

[the-writing-trash-panda]

I was just messing around for the fun of it (and to try and get some ideas). This is perfect, I almost want to use it.

[i-love-jay-walker]

Jaya Week 2023

I realized it might be good to throw this on Tumblr as well, in case people here wanna read it!

Here's my fic for Jaya Week 2023! This is the first time I partake in something like this and I don't write too often, so hopefully it still ends up going alright!

[everydaythings7807]

chat are we really about to write and complete my first fanfic. and is it really gonna be about lego ninjago

[rosewalkersjayaforever]